Just a quick one – I think I’ve lost a few pounds. Pretty sure.
Plus I took this running trail selfie this morning and it strikes me that I look better – heathier? Yes, I think so.
Oh yeah – I love my fitbit. That is all.
I am not into astrology and can barely remember that it’s not astronomy. But it seems that tomorrow marks the “new moon in Virgo” and as my crunchy hippy daughter shared a link about it on Facebook (and that’s how I know!), I read it and wowie got excited.
So here’s a snipped from http://www.mysticmamma.com/new-moon-in-virgo-august-25th-2014/ –
The New Moon of Virgo is a time to start fresh and write out a new plan for the next 6 months. It is a time to look inward and cleanse ourselves of our negative traits and to go out renewed in our actions to cleanse the world.
Seriously. So it seems the stars are all aligned up to bang on each other, confuse the shit out of me, and I’m supposed to go with it and reprogram my life – after the 25th, the door swings open and everything aligns for us if we do the work. And a whole bunch of other stuff.
It’s a rather amusing concept as I look around at my (again) messy house. M and I stayed up till nearly 2am talking. It was so good – he’s struggled so much this year, and the loss of our dog (HIS dog) just pushed him too far. We talked about how we want to live our lives, where we want to live our lives, all of it. And as always, he loves me so much. He’s so appreciative that I’ve been able to be patient with him as he navigates these waters.
I think one thing that we agree on is that where we are right now isn’t where we want to be. We don’t care for the area, the house, the way we both work from home (nice as it is), etc. And if my daughter bravely moving off to Korea has showed us anything, it’s that we crave a new adventure.
Now, M is still in bed and he’ll wake up exactly the same as he did yesterday. I don’t. I look around and begin planning.
These last 2 weeks have been all about change – and about being ok with it when I can’t affect change immediately, when I fail a little. Tomorrow marks the beginning of my 3rd week of this change, and I feel renewed. I must get this house clean. Get to the gym. Run my errands. Prepare for my work week and begin planning how to renew myself at work – to study harder, to not waste time, so that good things will happen in my career. Continue to be financially responsible. And do the things I used to love, like painting or drawing, or find new things… Be more social.
Scale shows a small weight loss, just a couple pounds, tape measure confirms I’m just a little smaller. But everything else has slid into a hot mess – well, shows the ability to, anyway. So I think I’ll take my New Moon in Virgo, thanks.
Something else that has been weighing on my mind is aging, of course. Then I found some amazing pictures that also revived me –
Seeing pictures of such beautiful mature women made me feel better and hammered home the fact that we are youth obsessed, and my youth is gone. But not my beauty, and not what makes me interesting. I’ve been a BORE for the last 10 years.
So, again, NEW MOON IN VIRGO bring it!!
No, not together. But both still nice.
I’ve lost 2 pounds. Of course, I weigh myself obsessively while telling everyone what a bad thing that is to do, and I had gin (and ice cream, but again, not together) last night and woke up feeling like a bear pooped in my mouth, so I could easily wake up tomorrow and be the same weight I was yesterday.
Or not. I count my calories like a crazy lady, and I’ve been MOVING every day. Maybe not weights, maybe not the gym, but moving. Yoga, mowing the lawn, running, doing squats in the kitchen – just moving. So eventually, something’s got to give. And if it doesn’t, ok. I’ll still be healthier than I was yesterday.
Been thinking about that (^^^) a lot lately. Been thinking about being positive, giving back, doing a lot more with my life than what I’ve been doing. I see what makes people happy and what makes them unhappy and miserable to be around.
One thing I’m doing a whole lot less of is wasting time on internet message boards arguing and/or insulting idiots. It’s a fantastic way to blow a whole lot of time – except it’s not. I’ve learned to be a better debater, I’ve learned how to research things, I’ve learned more about the world around me. And I’ve learned that there are some truly stupid, mean people in this world and I’ve learned about all they can teach me.
I’m also becoming much more active – I don’t want to sit around all night. Last night, I went and bugged the neighbors – hence the slight hangover. M wouldn’t come. I don’t mind the hangover too badly, because I can’t just sit inside this house 24/7.
Now. 40 ounces of water down (SO dehydrated!), 3 ibuprofen and 1 very strong cup of detox tea – I think I’m ready to start my day.
Today I will better myself by cleaning the shit out of this house, continuing to eat healthy, not drink a bunch of gin, and do some kind of exercise.
My gym membership expired last week, and I hadn’t worked out in three weeks. So pretty out of shape! My gym is expensive; it’s a university facility so while it’s pretty nice, it’s not cheap. And the weight room can get a little crowded with student meat heads.
So I checked out a much less expensive, smaller, closer gym – no squat rack. Oh well; guess I need to go renew my membership. For now, I decided to try a few new things – like yoga! I thought I was pretty bendy, turns out not so much. I like it – a new challenge. Strength training is so important, but I think I’ll combine it with beginners yoga and the occasional cardio when it’s nice.
I’m sore though, in places I didn’t know existed.
Went for a run this morning – such a pretty morning, felt good. Look at the weight on my face!
Apparently a suicide, after suffering from severe depression and alcoholism.
Alcoholism and depression feed each other in a vicious circle – you self medicate to ease the pain and bring some forget, but you make bad decisions that depress you more, so you self medicate… and on and on.
It’s hard to imagine him feeling so depressed, in such pain. Loved, talented, successful.
All day I’ve been thinking of how much positive I need in my life, and it makes me think of conversations friends and I have had about depression – half the battle is the little mind-game of recognizing the thought patterns that can drag you down, and to avoid them. To consciously avoid the negative and focus on the positive.
It’s what I’ve been doing all day, and I feel so good about it.
But I’ll miss Robin Williams. I feel grief that a man with such a beautiful, delightful gift felt so much pain he killed himself and left his wife and children without him.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. My house is a mess, I’m just a little hungover, but that’s OK.
So much has happened over the last 12 to 15 months, so many crazy things, so many tears – it’s all we can do to keep up with this Year of the Horse. Alrighty then, universe. Bring it. But changes to me will be mine – whether deliberate or not. If I’m not deliberately doing it, I’ll still own it. All the changes will be mine.
My teacher is my daughter, who left me yesterday to travel to the other side of the world and become a kindergarten ESL teacher in South Korea. That’s why I’m a little hung – apparently, the permanent umbilical cord does indeed stretch that far, but it tugs mightily and it hurts. Not comfortable at all. After a crazy 3 weeks of preparing for this, and our dog dying, and a weekend spent cooking and entertaining for her going-away, I sat outside and surfed and drank and stalked her flight like a crazy lady.
I made this pictorial graphic to illustrate:
Then several others, then I went to bed. She landed at 3am.
She has grabbed onto her life to make it what she wants, and I can do that too.
This is a picture my younger daughter took of us at the airport:
Granted, I am standing like a sloppy slut, but STILL.
So – today is a new day. Over the day I will work, clean, work out, eat right, and all the things normal people do.
Wow. I need to hang onto this and all it’s links:
There are choices that you make every day, some of which seem completely unrelated to your health and happiness, that dramatically impact the way you feel mentally and physically.
With that said, here are 10 common mistakes that can prevent you from being happy and healthy, and the science to back them up.
1. Avoiding deep and meaningful connections (like marriage, close friendships, and staying in touch with family)
Ultimately, the human experience is about connecting with other people. Connection is what provides value and meaning to our lives. We’re wired for it and research proves just that.
For example, people with strong social ties were found to be healthier and have a lower risk of death. Additionally, it was found that as age increases, the people with stronger social ties tend to live longer. And it seems that friendships can even help you fight cancer.