Ah, the Joy Of Allergies (and How I Avoided Junk Food Justification)

This is what I looked like when I woke up yesterday morning:  puffy

Doesn’t that look fun?  What you can’t really see is the hives all over my face.  SUPAH FUN.  Also, I woke up 5 lbs heavier yesterday than I did the day before.  Now, l know that’s not possible.  It takes about 3,500 calories to gain one pound of weight and while I did sort of blow out on chips and pasta salad Friday night, I did not consume 17,500 calories.

Water retention.  From allergies, from alcohol, from sodium…  God only knows.  But I looked ridiculous – have been waking up more and more swollen every day.  Hives on my face, nearly constant and sometimes painful ear pressure sensation, and snot running down the back of my throat.

So I got all that going for me too.

I immediately began guzzling water and cleaning tea, and vowed, no more shit food for a while.  I need to set the physical “reset” button.  No drinking through the week, no junk, low sodium (I have a thing for pickles with lots of salt.  I salt my salt), etc.

And then I decided to celebrate my new lifestyle with a trip to Chick-fil-e for a blowout.

Caught myself as I was standing in my driveway with my keys in my hand all ready to get a #2 with extra pickles and a large fry.

That’s not how this works.

How this works is calories in and calories out.  And at my age those need to be pretty useful calories.  I’ll be trying to figure out macros and micros etc as I have no fucking clue.  But I do know how to eat clean and how to not have my multiple vodka cocktails each night to get that nice mellow buzz on.

How am I going to do that every day?  I will use my greatest flaw.  My vanity.  Well, it’s one of my greatest flaws, after procrastination, a sloth-like laziness and self indulgence.

I accept that I am no longer young and cute, so I will be old and cute.  Long story short:


So.  Today is the first day of a new week.  Excellent night’s sleep, having a nice breakfast and guzzling cleansing tea, poured the vodka down the sink, and then the gym.

I can do this.  I quit smoking, I can do anything.

Love, me.  (I love me)


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